Man Has Strange Excuse For Public Masturbation

Joseph Scordato had a rare defense when Ridgewood police charged him with masturbating in public.

"That's not possible," the 81-year-old man told police after his arrest. "I don't have a penis".

"There is no information that would lead us to think that he is missing any body parts that men his age typically have", county prosecutor said.

Scordato has been accused of parking his car across the street from a movie theater, unzipping his pants and masturbating in the middle of the afternoon in public.A beautician working in a nearby salon saw him as she walked past the car and called police.

When confronted by detectives, Scordato denied that he was doing so. "I have dry skin, and I have to itch it a lot," he was finally quoted as saying in the report.

Scordato fell asleep while he waited for his case to be called in court this week and said he wasn't able to hire a lawyer because he was in the hospital. He asked the judge if he could represent himself, to which the the judge replied: "Then you will have a fool for a client".

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